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With time and experience, I realize that my clients start their discovery session asking fundamental but general questions. It is more important during the discovery session that I can listen to you and learn more about you, so here are the answers to questions I am sure you are having right now.
Few questions I would be happy to answer even before you ask me!
How will I know that I need a divorce coach?
Everyone is different and will have a different answer. So it is really up to you, some people will feel strong enough to go through the process alone, till they realise they can’t. Others know from the beginning that they are not equipped to face the rollercoaster awaiting them; others want to make sure from the start that they want someone reliable and with whom they feel safe to share everything from D 1.
A divorce coach will help you save time and money because you will be using your lawyer’s time wisely; thanks to the help the divorce coach will provide you, you will become more credible, and lawyers love reasonable clients who come with their strategy and realistic expectations.
Here are a few pointers that might help decide:
- Wanting revenge and not being able to see anything else than the pain he has caused
- Struggling in taking decisions?
- Not being able to come up with a proper budget?
You need to vent and be supported in how you feel without judgement.
How does it work?
The sessions are a time when you can let it all out.
It is a safe space filled with empathy, compassion and no judgement.
It is like a conversation between 2 friends, just that I will be asking you questions in the hope that it will bring a shift in your thinking and gives you the insights to find your answers and solutions.
You will always be the session’s leader; coaching is about being by your side to help you take the steps you want towards your goal. I am not the leader and do not decide where to go. It is entirely up to you, and coaching can be compelling when trust, respect and accountability have been established.
What is divorce coaching ?
A certified divorce coach CDC® has been trained to deal with the specificities of the landscape of divorce.
The different phases of the divorce, the impacts of the divorce on our lives, and the technics of coping with a divorce, both on the emotional and logistic sides.
Divorce coaching is a goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate and guide people going through a divorce.
Most of my clients come to me when the process has already started. It is never too late to get me on board; however, timing is everything in a divorce, so the sooner you put your support team together, the better.
Divorce coaching helps my clients decide how to reach their set-up goals by taking the best possible decisions during the process based on their particular interests, needs and concerns because every divorce is different.
I help you look at the whole process with new eyes and set up your boundaries that help create realistic expectations.
Does a divorce coach give legal advice?
A divorce coach IS NOT a lawyer and shall never give the clients any legal advice.
A divorce coach knows and understands the law’s landscape and how the divorce process works so that they can guide the client. But guiding and accompanying isn’t giving legal advice.
In my case, I work with clients who have one nationality, which isn’t the one of their STBX, and as a family, they reside in a third country, the kids hold another passport, and they were married in none of the countries of origin. So at the beginning of the process, the first question is, “WHERE AM I GOING TO DIVORCE?”
I have a broad understanding of the law works in many countries, and I have resources among my peers to help me better understand should I need to. This helps me a lot in not giving legal advice since I am international and not attached to one specific country.
This unique situation allows me to be creative and come up with ideas that might help my clients open their minds, especially regarding communication and co-parenting planning.
Only your lawyer practices the law, and I will always remind you to check things with your lawyer as often as needed.
Should you need to talk to a lawyer, I collaborate with professionals and will happily recommend a few names.
Is a divorce coach a therapist?
No. Though the divorce coach deals with emotions during the process of the divorce, the coach isn’t analysing his clients nor looking at answering any WHY questions.
Divorce coaching focuses on the NOW and TOMORROW, not much about yesterday.
Should you need to talk to a specialist, I collaborate with professionals that I will be happy to recommend to you.
How much a divorce is going to cost me?
“Some” is the only answer I can give you right now. s
You might find out during the process of the divorce that your support team needs to be greater than “just” a lawyer. Whatever the process of your divorce, being an expat seems to make it almost impossible not to have to resort to at least one lawyer who will have an international background, and they tend to be more expensive than if you were still resident in your home country.
you might need also to hire an attorney in your country of residence and maybe a few extra professionals, depending on your unique situation.
Often my clients make the mistake of believing that a collaborative divorce is going to cost less. A collaborative or amicable divorce isn’t the low cost of the divorce. Again, the final bill will depend on how complex your personal situation is.
I would like you to see the fees you are paying for your lawyer, as well as any other professionals you might need to support you, as an investment for your future.
I will strongly advise you not to throw in the towel too quickly by reaction of fear when money and spending become the main topic.
Because most of the things you are deciding during the process of the divorce are finals: alimony, assets splits. There are things you won’t be able to change once they have been decided and agreed on.
Look at your options; let’s talk about this, it is one of the fundamental pillars of divorce: MONEY MONEY MONEY,